Are you having trouble achieving your goals, or getting through a period of no success? Then take the time to learn how to set SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Tangible.

Specific
Setting specific goals is the key to all sorts of success. Most folks know the story about the 1954 Harvard class where they measured those who made goals and those who did not. Each time they grouped the goal-oriented graduates into smaller and smaller groups: those who made goals every now and then, on a yearly basis, and on a monthly, weekly or daily basis, each subset of individuals ended up making more money, having free time and far more happiness than the others.

And guess what? The no-goal folks were left out in the cold and achieved almost nothing in comparison to those who set goals.

Measurable
The more measurable something is, the easier it is to see if we’ve achieved, or not achieved, the desired outcome. If you’re vague in your goals, and don’t have a way to measure it, how will you know you’ve achieved it? You won’t, it’s that simple. So make sure your goal can be measured, and you’re done with step 2.

Attainable
When you set goals that are the most important to you, you will find a way to make them happen. That’s a fact! You begin to find things that fit in with your goals, you develop a positive attitude, you work to develop new skills and abilities, and you somehow find the financial capacity to achieve them. You think of all the opportunities that you’ve left unanswered and you uncover new opportunities to help you achieve your goal.

You can do almost anything when you plan out the steps necessary to reach the goal, and set the time frame that holds you accountable to that goal. Things that never before were possible now are not only possible but are in fact probably, because you’ve learned and grown to match these tough goals. Listing your goals helps you feel better about yourself, as you learn to see yourself worthy enough to achieve these goals, that you deserve these goals, and you reach these goals!

Realistic
Do you want to aim for something you’ll never reach, or for something that is within your power? Remember, you have to be willing and able to do something, so make sure you’re realistic in your goal setting. You definitely want to stretch and not set something you could do without effort, but if you know that there is absolutely no way you can physically run a 4 minute mile because you have arthritis, then don’t make that your goal. Now keep in mind that with the Internet, e-mail, and the globalization of the marketplace that you can achieve more than you ever thought possible, there still may be things that just aren’t possible. Don’t set these as goals, set these as dreams, and point towards those. But set the attainable goals so you can get satisfaction from achieving more and more of your goals.

Tangible
A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of your five senses. That means if you can can taste it, touch it, smell it, see it or hear it. When your goal is tangible, or when you tie an tangible goal to a intangible goal, you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus see it as more attainable to you.

So be SMART about your goal setting, read a book or 2 about goal settings, have others help you be more accountable to yourself for achieving these goals, and you will do more and be more than you ever dreamed possible!

Phil Gerbyshak leads a team as manager of an IT Help Desk in Milwaukee, WI, and finds that sharing his knowledge is a crucial component for in his success as a leader and as a person. Phil’s personal philosophy is paraphrased from Tim Sanders’ fantastic book Love is the Killer App: “Share your knowledge, your network, and your love. The rest will follow.”

Feel free to contact Phil at http://makeitgreat.org or call 414.640.7445 anytime. To check out his frequently updated blog, check out http://makeitgreat.blogspot.com

Jesus Christ

Disorientation, confusion, and irritation
Such anguish and mental frustration
God Almighty intervene with elimination
Of such painful and tormentuous emotions
Stop all of the drama and incessant commotion
I bow my knees confessing my utter devotion
My wholehearted dependence upon You
Won’t you come now and get me through
All of the continually challenges I daily endure
Come Holy Spirit and make my heart pure
The world and its lusts have lost their allure
Of this I am confident, competent, and sure
I commit myself to you without reservation
Therefore send forth your divine manifestation
I pray for a holy and vibrant heavenly visitation
To awake my heart and soul, make me whole,
Restore what my stubbornness rapidly stole
Get me out of this self-imposed stupor and hole
My sins on me have taken their deadly toll
I can’t take this terrible burden any more
Move mightily to rid me of my painful self
I need you heavenly Father, I have nobody else
No one to listen, hear me, or simply turn to
What is a man so alone supposed to do?
I therefore like a child cry out to You
Pleading for mercy, tenderness, and kindness
Too long have I stupidly settled for much less
No loving and living God I want your best
Forgive me for being such a defiant pest
Angrily cursing and putting You to the test
These transgressions I ashamedly confess
Help me to move forward and forget the rest
I read in your Word that you promise newness
Newness of life making all things entirely new
Come Lord Jesus, this is what I want You to do!

Paul Davis is a highly sought after professional speaker, life purpose coach, worldwide minister, change master, and turnaround specialist.

Paul is the author of several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat; Are You Ready for True Love; Stop Lusting & Start Living; Waves of God; Supernatural Fire; Poems that Propel the Planet; and God vs. Religion.

Paul’s compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul’s organization Dream-Maker Ministries is building dreams, breaking limitations & reviving nations.

Paul inspires, revives, awakens, impregnates with purpose, imparts the fire of desire, catapults people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitates destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

Contact Paul to minister, speak at your event or for life coaching:

RevivingNations@yahoo.com
407-284-1705

www.PaulFDavis.com
http://www.DreamMakerMinistries.com
http://www.CreativeCommunications.TV

We attract into our lives, that upon which we place our dominant thoughts

Forget bonsai, bamboo, and shoji screens. They can look great in decorating, but they’re not what Zen interior design is about.
Strictly speaking, Zen interior design doesn’t even exist … but you shouldn’t let that keep you from creating ‘Zen’ rooms in your home! These spaces can be large or small, modern or antique, as long as they follow certain principles.
Which principles? Well, Zen is a spiritual Buddhist practice (and it doesn’t contain interior design concepts of any kind). As a Zen practitioner, this is what you do:

1. Cultivate a calm, clear, pure, wide-open attitude of mind.

2. Practice conscious awareness.

3. Practice loving-kindness towards all beings (not just the human ones).

4. Meditate in the ‘zazen’ style, sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing.

So how do you translate these practices into something that might be called ‘Zen interior design’? Here’s how:

1. A CALM, CLEAR, PURE, WIDE OPEN HOME

Gradually take away all clutter, including things with large patterns and colorful area rugs (visually, they are clutter as well).

If you find this prospect a bit daunting, you could start with a Zen ‘test space’ - a part of your desk or a coffee table will do just fine. Clear it completely, and decide that nothing is going to disturb this free, clear, calm space. No decoration, no things, nothing. Look at your ‘empty’ space often to see if you would like to have more of it in your home. You may not do - interior design is not for everyone! But if you do, here’s your next step: Reduce the color palette to calm, ‘quiet’ colors and as little pattern as possible (neutrals, water and earth tones work very well). Use natural materials and mix textures. Keep it simple.

2. CONSCIOUS AWARENESS

This is easier to maintain in a low-key environment. The less there is around you to stimulate your senses, the more you will notice what is there, and how it affects you. Just compare how you feel in a quiet, gentle environment (think spa or yoga studio), to what happens once you step outside into the noise and traffic.

3. A SPACE FOR LOVING-KINDNESS

Express love for yourself and those who share your home by creating a sanctuary. Choose quality materials and exquisitely simple furniture that gets even more beautiful with the years. Zen interior design isn’t about being fashionable; it is not about getting attention or impressing people. It’s about true quality of life.

4. MEDITATION

There are many ways to focus and clear your mind, and Zen interior design can help you do this with ease.

For example, consider keeping a large-scale photo or a beautiful natural object in a ’strategic’ place where you see it often - maybe on the wall opposite your sofa. The fewer and simpler your objects are, the better: pebbles, a piece of driftwood, a flower, a picture of a waterfall or a seascape work beautifully.
But doesn’t Zen interior design need to ‘look Japanese’, somehow? Not at all. Buddhism originated in India and it was developed in China. It is practiced the world over. Just treat this as a less-is-more, anti-’bling’, luxuriously simple way of life. Zen interior design is about being free.

Renate Hering-Shepherd is a London-based designer and the owner of DreamHomeDecorating.com, a website full of ideas and information about creating a home you love, no matter where you happen to live.

Bob Proctor and the Science of Getting Rich

During my pregancy I didn’t really have the desire to have my pregnancy-photos taken, I really wish I would have made more time to get them done.

If you’re anything like me, you’re usually the one holding the camera. Make sure to give the camera to hubbie so he can get the shots you can’t.

Here is what I believe are the best pregnancy-photos that you need to have done. Ok, some may sound a little strange, but believe me you will love looking back on even the silly ones!

Read my list of must have pictures!

Photo #1 Of course the day you found out you were pregnant! There are lots of women who keep the actual pregnancy test… why not take a picture of it and that can go into your pregnancy album?

Photo #2 If you have children…. take a picture of their reaction to the news.

Photo #3 Don’t forget the picture of the surprised daddy!

Photo #4 Get hubbie to take a picture of you calling your family & friends. If you’re having a dinner party to announce the wonderful news, be sure to click away that night.

Photo #5 Get a picture of yourself infront of the doctor’s office on your first visit, even get one with your doctor.

Photo #6 The next time I would bring the camera is when you get to hear the heartbeat for the first time. What a moment to capture! That’s the best moment there is for a mom to be.

Photo #7 Time for some mugshots! Get a nice front shot of yourself, then turn to your side for a profile shot. Do this every month as your pregnancy progresses. Easy to do.

Photo #8 Do you know a friend who can take some pictures of you and your husband? Get some nice shots of your husband with his head on your tummy….putting the music to your tummy…. kissing your tummy…. I could go on and on. Very cute and loving pictures.

Photo #9 Repeat Photo #8, but insert your older children.

Photo #10 Did your older children make something for your baby? Take pictures of them with their proud creations.

Photo #11 Get at least one picture of your doctor measure your belly. This is something that us women do every month with the doctor and it’s so comforting that the baby is growing properly.

Photo #12 Waiting around for an ultrasound? Bring the camera, get a picture of you infront of the hospital. You know they will make you drink a ton of water, so you’re doing the dance anyhow. Bring the camera to keep yourself busy. If there’s no one there with you……you’re in your gown right? Get a nice shot of those swollen feet.

Have fun with your pregnancy-photos! Create your pregnancy album during pregnancy is alot of fun.

Vera Raposo has been scrapbooking since her oldest child was 5. With tons of scrapbooking tips and ideas, Vera is now sharing some of her best scrapbooking ideas for your new baby in her newsletter http://www.baby-scrapbooking.com.

Mental attitude is the magnet

Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding explanations, exploring wishes and dreams, setting goals, and gaining clarity. Every therapist has unique ways of working with clients, based on his or her personality, training, and views of how people change. A solution-focused therapist is likely to do the following:

1. Instead of going over past events and focusing on problems, the therapist helps you envision boardyour future without today’s problems.

2. During the course of therapy (often as few as 3 to 6 sessions), the therapist helps you discover solutions.

3. The therapist encourages you to identify and do more of what is already working.

4. The therapist guides you to identify what doesn’t work and to focus on doing less of it.

5. The emphasis is on the future, not the past.

6. SFBT therapists believe that the client is the best expert about what it takes to change his or her life.

7. The therapist’s role is to help you identify solutions that will remove the barriers to having the life you want. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is a process that helps people change by constructing solutions rather than dwelling on problems. This type of therapy tends to be shorter-term than traditional psychotherapy. Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg of the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee are the originators of this form of therapy.

The SFBT therapist helps the client identify elements of the desired solution, which are usually already present in the client’s life. The client learns to build on these elements, which form the basis for ongoing change. Rather than searching for the causes of the problem, the focus is on defining the changes and making them a reality. The two key therapeutic issues are: (1) how the client wants his or her life to be different, and (2) what it will take to make it happen. Creating a detailed picture of what it will be like when life is better creates a feeling of hope, and this makes the solution seem possible. The therapist helps the client focus on the future and how it will be better when things change. It is important to develop a set of specific, detailed goals. These goals drive the therapy process and keep it focused and efficient.

Why SFBT Is Usually Short-Term

SFBT therapists don’t set out to artificially limit the number of sessions. A good brief therapist will not focus on limiting sessions or time, but rather on helping clients set goals and develop strategies to reach those goals. Focusing on the client’s goals and the concrete steps needed to achieve them usually takes less time than traditional therapy, in which the client typically spends many sessions talking about the past and explores reasons and feelings. SFBT therapists aim to provide clients with the most effective treatment in the most efficient way possible so that clients can achieve their goals and get on with their lives. As a result of this focus, the counseling process often requires as few as six sessions.

Types of Problems That SFBT Addresses

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy is an effective way of helping people solve many kinds of problems, including depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, relationship problems, and many other kinds of issues. Since it focuses on the process of change rather than on dissecting the problem, more serious issues do not necessarily require different treatment. The SFBT therapist’s job is to help clients transform troubling issues into specific goals and an action plan for achieving them. In The Miracle Method, authors Scott D. Miller and Insoo Kim Berg describe how to create solutions with these steps:

1. State your desire for something in your life to be different.

2. Envision boardthat a miracle happens and your life is different.

3. Make sure the miracle is important to you.

4. Keep the miracle small.

5. Define the change with language that is positive, specific, concrete, and behavioral.

6. State how you will start your journey rather than how you will end it.

7. Be clear about who, where, and when, but not why.

Signs That You Should Consider Seeing a Therapist

There are several ways to know when you would be doing yourself a favor by finding a licensed, professional therapist to work with.

1. You’ve tried several things on your own, but you still have the problem.

2. You want to find a solution sooner rather than later.

3. You have thoughts of harming yourself or others.

4. You have symptoms of depression, anxiety, or another disorder that significantly interfere with your daily functioning and the quality of your life. For example, you have lost time from work, your relationships have been harmed, or your health is suffering. These are signs that you need the help of a trained, licensed professional.

Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. Garrett also offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or at 201-303-4303.

Jesus In The Temple

What is self confidence and how do you get it? The compact oxford english dictionary is simple in its definition: “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment”. A positive sense of self confidence is more than just believing in you. Self confidence means that you have a respect for yourself and your abilities that allows you to take risks in life and put one foot in front of the other daily. You can build your self esteem with hypnotherapy, and by reading self improvement articles and books.

What Exactly Is Self Confidence?

For many, self confidence and self esteem are troublesome adversaries that people feel the need to overcome. Maybe you are one of them. You may wake up everyday convinced that you are going to fail. You may think about your last big test that you didn’t do as well on as you would have liked. Alternatively, you may think of the time you broke the 16A0copier at work. Many of us base our current state of worth and ability on how we have performed in the past. The problem is that we focus on what we have done badly in the past, not what we have done well.

However, a lack of self confidence can do more harm than just draining you of your can-do attitude. With low self asteem, you may find yourself giving in to bad habits. You may have trouble losing weight, and you may build phobias around your life and much more. Thus, changing your level of self confidence will help you in all of the aspects of your life.

What To Do?

So how do you fix it? How do you build your self confidence to a level that makes you wake up everyday ready to tackle the world? There are many ways including counseling, self-help books etc. One newer way is through self confidence boosting hypnotherapy. As the name suggests, hypnotherapy uses hypnosis as a therapeutic tool to help you refresh and re-work the attitudes you have about yourself. The goal is to rid your mind of the bad, negative thoughts that you have about your abilities, and thoughts that have been constructed from the negative.

What Is Hypnosis?

Hypnosis is a state of being for a person. It involves a constricted focus and a state of deep relaxation. The focus occurs with the ideas presented by the hypnotist. The goal is to change the state of consciousness so that the left-hand methodical side of the brain is tamed while the creative right-side is brought forward. The goal is to draw out the subconscious to a place where deep rooted behavior can be changed.

Let a hypnotist help you boost your self confidence today!

This original article may be placed on your own web site, or included in your ezine or newsletter, provided you display the following live link:

To read more original hypnotherapy articles visit the HypnoSpot web site: http://www.hypnospot.co.uk/hypnotherapy-articles-sitemap.htm

Secrets Of The Power

When we talk of self help, it usually brings the image of a grown up person trying to improve himself. But self help is not limited to grown ups. Even teens need self-help training. Why? Because of 2 important reasons.

Here are two crucial reasons why your teenage son or daughter should start focusing on self-development:

Reason #1: Teens today live in highly competitive world

Times have changed. There is increased competition at every level. Children have to study more. Give more exams.

Also, due to fast changing technologies and global policies, nature of jobs are changing rapidly. Many old kind of jobs are disappearing. But at the same time, new opportunities and new kinds of career are emerging.

In such competitive and fast changing times, children need better training and more practical skills. So that they can make best use of opportunities around them. So that they can deal with today’s changing times better and beat any competition easily.

Self-help training helps children to develop these much needed practical skills. A right kind of self-help training helps your teens to improve their thoughts, attitudes and habits. It helps them to develop important abilities and skills which make it easy to achieve success in life.

Reason #2: Important skills needed by teens are not taught in schools and colleges

Most of the practical success skills and abilities required to achieve success today are missing from our education system.

For example: Teens need the skill to control their mind and thoughts to combat stress and problems. Teens need the techniques to learn anything fast and succeed easily in their higher education. Teens need the skill to deal with people smartly and get ahead in their career smoothly. They need the ability to think creatively and find new ideas to beat competition.

But unfortunately, the above kinds of skills are not taught to teens in either school or college. However, think about it. If such kind of skills and techniques were taught to your teens, then they could make best use of opportunities around them. Your teenage son or daughter could easily deal with today’s changing times and achieve big success in studies, career and life easily.462

That’s why self-help or self-improvement is very important, not just for grown ups but also for teens.

© Preeti Narayan - is author of ‘Success Mindware’ a first Total self-development program for children to help them succeed in 21st century. Download popular Success Training lessons and worksheets for your children absolutely free at http://www.mindpowerguide.biz

Jimmy Carter

The following is an exercise, or process, you can use to explore the depths of your being. It is an exercise to discover your belief systems-what you believe to be true about yourself, about God, about life.

All of your actions are rooted in your belief system. Although most of your beliefs were formed as a child, they are in fact a choice. If you do not like what you believe, you can change it. As an adult, you have full control of your beliefs. In order to change, however, you must take a long, scrutinizing look at your particular belief structure.

Probe closely into your childhood beliefs. Look for the strong messages you received as a child. You may not yet realize that these strong messages usually constitute a majo5B4r portion of your core belief structure and hold an incredible amount of power. Write these beliefs, or messages, down on paper in a list form. Keep the sentences short for easy reading. Again, you are searching for the core or foundation of a belief, not the philosophy behind it. After you have completed your list, write down what you would rather believe, what you would rather have heard as a child. This is the time to be co-creative and to use your imagination to construct a list that is ideal. Create the perfect God in your mind and on the paper-a belief system that will support you, love you, and work for you, not against you. There are no rules, except that you do this exercise in its entirety.

The following is a composite of the common belief statements I hear from my clients:

Common Beliefs about God from Childhood

1. God is external, lives in heaven, and is separate from myself.

2. God is male and has male characteristics.

3. God has lots of rules. I had better not break a rule or I will be punished.

4. God does not always give me what I want. I have to deserve it, and if I mess up, He will hold it against me.

5. I can only pray for the will of God. If my prayer does not line up with His will, my prayer will not be answered.

6. I am selfish if I pray for myself and God does not like it when I do. Besides, I am too unworthy to pray for myself.

7. God punishes me and5B4 withholds my prayers to teach me a lesson. I deserve hard lessons.

8. God gets disappointed in my behavior.

9. God has human feelings such as anger, disappointment, revenge, and judgment.

10. There is only one way to God and heaven, and that is through Christianity.

11. All things in the Bible are true in the literal sense.

12. I need to be respectful of God. If I do not pray “right,” my prayers will not be answered.

13. God watches over me with a critical eye, seeing all the things I do. He waits for me to mess up, so that he can teach me another lesson.

14. It will be difficult to enter heaven if I do not keep God first and follow the rules.

15. I deserve to have it tough in life because I have done lots of bad things.

16. Mommy and Daddy say that God will not like me if I lie, cheat, steal, or do not brush my teeth.

17. If I do not believe just the way I am taught, I will burn in hell.

18. God is strict, but it is because I am undeserving and he is trying to teach me to be good.

19. Even though I am struggling financially, it is wrong to pray for money.

20. If I have money, I should give most of it away in order to show how grateful I am.

21. God disapproves of sex and shakes his head in disgust at me.

22. I do not think God likes me much. He does not show up very often.

Any person living with the above beliefs is going to have tremendous5B4 fear in his or her life. The whole system is based on judgment, fear, punishment, and not being good enough. It is structured on conditional love with strings attached to behavior. It would be difficult to find happiness under this system. The constant pressure from judgment alone would cause dis-ease to settle in the body. These beliefs stifle personal growth, imagination, and creativity. There is no foundation for self-worth to grow and develop.

As you review your list and discern the nature of your current belief system, remember that it represents choice. If it does not reflect what you desire, discard it. Let your imagination go and create a new belief system. Make a new list of what such a belief system could look like. Perhaps, it would look like this:

An Example of an Ideal Belief System

1. My God lives within me. I am part of God and God is part of me.

2. God has no gender, but is the essence of all things.

3. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, no punishment. There is a karmic balancing, consistent and founded in divine unconditional love.

4. I have complete choice in my behaviors without being judged.

5. God is love-unconditional-and this love is the basis of the universe. God loves all.

6. There is no right or wrong way to believe. All religions lead to the center, which is God.

7. Heaven is not a place that you go to; it is an attitude of the divine. Live and exper5B4ience heaven in the now.

8. God is available to me in all circumstances. I am never without God. God is part of me.

9. I have full responsibility, as a co-creator with God, for all that I AM and all that is around me.

10. I am honored and revered in the universe.

11. I am a spirit having an earth experience. It is one of many experiences in the universe. My soul’s purpose on earth is to experience emotion.

12. I choose my life experience, like an actor choosing a script in a play. I choose everything about my living conditions for the divine purpose of my soul’s unfolding.

13. All of my prayers are answered. My job as co-creator is to be clear with my intention so that my prayers can manifest.

14. There is abundance for all in the universe. If I have abundance in my life, it does not mean that someone else must go without.

15. I believe in miracles!

16. I am part of an exquisite whole. I am related to all life. I belong.

17. Angels can fly because they take things lightly.

A person with the above belief system is going to have a completely different outlook on life. Self-worth, self-empowerment, choice, unconditional love, honor, balance, and freedom will be reflected throughout the life of this individual. What one believes, becomes.

Jan promotes self-healing3F5, empowerment, better communities, a healthy world and conducts workshops in shamanism & journeying. Her book, Becoming Yourself is at http://www.janengelssmith.com . Jan’s a Licensed Counselor. She’s done over two thousand soul retrievals. She is the founder of LightSong School of Shamanic Studies, a Chemical Dependency Specialist, and Marriage Therapist. She’s a water pourer for sweat lodge, a minister, a Reiki Master.

Tarot Suit Of Wands

Mimi was proud of the ten pounds she had lost on her new diet and exercise regimen. It was easy and enjoyable. A few days later Mimi was part of a decision making team at work. Arguments and insults flying around made her afraid of giving her opinion. Right then Mimi sensed something was missing. She grabbed a pillow and put in on her abdomen. What a relief! During that stressful moment Mimi missed the ‘padding’ that her fat had provided. The cushion blanketed the messy feeling. Driving home she felt demeaned and diminished. Why was it okay for her colleagues to vent, but no space for her views? Anger frothed up. Her rage felt like a ball of sharp nails ready to lacerate her insides causing a bloody hemorrhage.

She stopped at a store and bought a quart of chocolate ice- cream and a large bag of potato chips. That combination was the her most trusted and true numbing device. Those sharp nails became frozen with layers of reassuring and calming comfort food. No chance of any disgusting leaks of weakness. Keeping her cool was rewarded by yummy admiration and scrumptious respect.

The Bad News

Mimi’s body weight represented both the burden of her undigested emotions and those she swallowed from others by choosing not to be assertive. Mimi believed that she kept her close relationships with friends and family by being an ever absorbing sponge for their awful feelings. They perceived her as tough and indestructible. Keeping it all in was a badge of honor. Emotional constipation was Mimi’s sign of power and resilience. She dealt with overflowing gunky confused emotions by converting the trash into fat. That weight smothered her instincts to express her individuality. The heaviness paralyzed her so she couldn’t take risks with being herself.

Her weight went up and stayed up despite her punishing splurge with personal fitness gurus, coaches, nutritionists and all the advice in the 5B4best diet books.

The good news

Eating anesthetized slimy feelings. The weight she carried acted as armor against feeling abused, taken advantage of, and dismissed. Her fat was the one part of her she could trust. Her fat camouflaged her need for love, support and acceptance. Life was a breeze when she didn’t have to ask for those basic things and risk rejection and ridicule.

Yo-Yo weight games

Mimi was successful with diets when she felt strong and an equal player in the world. As soon as that fragile mood was threatened by words of conditional love, put downs, and a dismissal of her opinions Mimi felt naked and vulnerable. Food was the comforter and the weight she gained became a shield against the abuse. The thicker the armor the less chance there was of being destabilized and out of control. The armor plating was solid enough to deodorize the stench of her own chaotic and stinky feelings. The armor did such a good job that she couldn’t distinguish between her own mess and that of others. It also bypassed her emotional thermostat so that she never knew when she couldn’t take any more of other people’s trash. At the point of overflow food was the best way of resetting the switch and lowering the temperature.

Mimi’s quandary: Looking good or feeling strong?

Did she focus on feeling physically attractive by losing fat, or feeling emotionally strong and protected by keeping the fat5B4? Either way, she had to abandon one part of herself - a no win situation.

Emptying the Garbage Before It Turns Into Fat: Stopping the Yo-Yo

1. Mimi should begin by asking herself the following questions:
   • Why won’t my family and friends like me if I show my feelings?
   • Why is it weak for me to show my feelings and get support?
   • Why am I so good at tolerating everyone else’s overwhelm, and yet disgusted by my own?
   • Why is emotional constipation the only way of feeling strong?
2. Mimi needs to build a more flexible barrier between herself and others.
   • Armor is rigid and insensitive. Mimi’s boundaries need to have a fine enough mesh to allow some mixing of feelings on both sides. That is mutual empathy and support.
   • A barrier that opened and closed as needed would prevent overwhelm and allow Mimi to distinguish between her stuff and other people’s mess.
   • Giving herself the right to have bad feelings, show them and still receive love and acceptance (just as her friends and family do) will create a balance inside her emotional digestive tract. No more constipation.
   • Distributing the responsibility for relationship regulation and maintenance means that the weight is not dumped on Mimi.
   • Mimi will be attending to all parts of herself without abandoning any aspect.
   • Mimi’s emotional balance and flexible barrier means that she won’t need food to do the job. Her weight will be more 4D7consistent and natural for her size.
   • When Mimi is comfortable with herself, her weight will reflect it by getting to an optimum place and staying there.

These tasks are difficult to do alone. Friends and family are part of the problem and cannot help at the outset. An objective professional such as a licensed psychotherapist can be helpful to get Mimi started on her journey and support her through the yo-yo’s until she has the right barriers set up for herself.

© Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

http://drjeanetteraymond.com

Dharma

Many professionals in the Health care and social work field become stressed and disillusioned in their work, even though they enjoy helping people.

They are normally also not very well rewarded either financially or in terms of recognition, this allied to the type of work and situations encountered, means that the people involved in this type of industry need the same level of concern help and support that is given to the people in their care, this rarely is the case, and those working in the field end up leaving due to stress, depression and burnout.

It is very easy for those who work in the Health 1C68care field to take on the worries and pressures of the people they are trying to help this happens through resonance (the law of attraction). There are ways to prevent this from happening which everyone can apply.

Everything is comprised of energy and vibrations the higher the energy the more

Positive and happy we are, the lower the energy the more negative and lethargic we are. The people we are with, the way we think and our activities affect our energy levels.

We will be able to take on the energy that lifts us up and deflect the low energy that brings us down. The two extremes of this energy are Love and Fear. Pure Un-conditional Love is the highest energy there is and therefore has access to the multi-dimensional universe we operate in, that means whether we know it or believe it or not we affect everything around us on a local and non-local level.

The more aware we are of how this works in our lives and in the universe the more happy and productive we will be, It will also enable us to achieve goals more effectively with awareness and application.

Judging people by our own standards and worrying about peoples lives and futures over which we have limited control, also brings further low energy, so understanding the energy field we can choose to be affected by our environment or effect our environment. The situation we are in determines the most appropriate action.

I spent a month in a mental health hospital as a patient not a visitor and saw this at first hand, the only way that a lot of professionals can see to get out of this cycle is by caring less and just doing there job, this affects those around them as well and the patients who pick up on this. There is a saying love hurts, if you could create a love of your job that did not hurt you it would go so much better, and you would be creating more than you could ever know.

If you are interested in finding out more or want to apply these principles and more to your life let me know.

To obtain a FREE copy of my e-book on coaching click on link below http://www.7ask7.co.uk/responder.htm

FREE 15min taster sessions are also available worldwide, Roger Millar - Life, Success, Spiritual Coaching Tel no. 020 8357 9294

Mohandas Gandhi